A Daughter's Veterans Day Tribute

Honor Vets’ Service in Past with Time in the Present 

by Peggy Shaw

My father considered the checkerboard on Sunday, the day before Veterans Day, and insisted that the perfectly square board with identical squares be turned and set up again, because I had done it incorrectly. He stared blankly at the rows of checkers after I had lined them up again, and then informed me that all of the checkers, for himself and his opponent, should be the same color.

“It’s all wrong,” he said, bewildered.

Last weekend I did what I’ve done often on weekends in the last three years: driven to a veterans’ home in Anderson, S.C., and tried to brighten my dad’s life—by feeding him lunch, arranging a pillow behind his back, spending 75 cents on a diet soda, cleaning a pair of smudgy glasses, or listening to his room-mate talk about his experiences at the Battle of the Bulge.

I return from that insular world a bit saddened. But I also remain amazed at the attentive caretakers, appreciative patients dealing with end-of-life realities, and the devoted volunteers who show up routinely to make these veterans lives a little better.

Some visit the vets who have no family left, like my dad’s friend across the hall who once owned a large auto dealership. They produce holiday events, such as Thanksgiving dinner, and bring to the home vintage car shows, fresh artwork, small Christmas remembrances, and special talents. A weekend rarely goes by, for example, that I don’t hear gospel songs wafting out of the Legion Hall, provided by singers and musicians who have given up part of their weekend to entertain men and women in varying stages of confinement.

Several volunteers also attend the home’s simple Sunday morning church service, talking to veterans afterward and push the severely disabled ones back to their rooms.

 “How’s my railroad man today?” a dapper-looking man in a red vest and tie asked my dad last Sunday after the service. I’d never met him, but he knew that my father had been a mechanical engineer, designed cars for Southern Railway, and served in the Navy.

Bill, who is probably in his late 70s and still working, manages to visit my dad and other residents a few times a week.

Many videos related to veterans show up these days on social media sites like Facebook. Often, a returning vet is being greeted by an exuberant family dog, or children are surprised with a parent’s return. The videos are heartwarming, and I usually watch them, too. But until my father became sick enough to qualify for admission to a VA nursing home, it had never occurred to me that we could do more for our veterans than fly an American flag on Veterans Day, go to a parade, or hit “like” for a video on Facebook.

Now I know that we can also give U.S. veterans the precious gift of our time.

We can help someone to a large window in the day room to see the world changing seasons outside, join Saturday night Bingo (where, at my dad’s home, visitors are welcomed with shout-outs like “Come on in!”), or watch football games with those who can no longer see the screen very well but enjoy companionship.

I’ve also learned that vets love to interact with approved pets, like my friendly Westie. They appreciate a turn around the courtyard in the sunshine, and do enjoy a simple game of Checkers—even when stiff hands can no longer move the pieces well, and particulars of the game have become cloudy.

This Veterans Day, I’ll fly my American flag and I’ll attend a Veterans Day service while Dad is honored at his own ceremony a state away. And I’ve decided to share this idea: that one of the best ways to honor American veterans’ service in the past is to give them some of our time and caring attention here in the present.

I can safely say that the return will be greater than the investment.