View From a Cop: Sandy Springs Police Capt. Steve Rose Muses

I guess I don’t need to remind you that the world is upside down in many ways.

According to the economic indicators, I can retire about two or three years after I die—maybe sooner if I relocate to the remote Canadian woods where I would live my remaining years a recluse, hunting down small game for food—which wouldn’t work too well because I don’t hunt but, on the bright side, I’d get down to my goal weight.

I would come into town twice a month and order peanut butter and lighter fluid and be known as “that dude” by the local towns people. I would have a long beard and matted hair with little beads woven in signifying each time a tooth fell out. Not much to look forward to—except for the little braids in my hair.

It seems it doesn’t take too much to set us off. We’re trying to handle the day-to-day headaches of money, jobs, kids, wives, and girlfriends. (Triple the pressure if you have both.)

Wouldn’t it be nice if the good news equaled the bad news which always seems to arrive right on time to ruin a good day? It happens to everyone! That’s what I say to myself. 

It happens to everyone. (Repeat as necessary.)

Two guys get into a fender-bender resulting in barely enough damage to even see. The two exchange verbal cheap shots and seconds later there’s a fight that results in a trip to the ER to get an eyebrow sewed up and a trip to court where a lawyer explains to the judge that it was the other guy to blame. The other guy’s lawyer reciprocates with the same accusation although neither knows or really cares as long as the check clears. A few thousand dollars later, the two men are back at square one and letting their insurance company do what they would have done in the first place.

A man and his wife argue over the seemingly endless bills that keep each on edge day after day. No room for any luxuries. The harder they work, the more they owe. The man stops off for a cocktail and about ten of them later, he’s home, mad, and drunk. Argument leads to fighting and the cops are called. She is sporting some new bruises and he’s in jail and now all of the problems are magnified 10 times over.  

It seems that when the pressure is on, you either go in one direction or the other but nowhere in between. Either the gym or the bar but I’m not yet sure which one is better. I guess I should go with the popular and politically correct answer. It begins with “Bartender!

Okay, maybe not, but it always works on television. A guy has a lousy day and stops off at the corner bar on the way home and as he walked in, he’s greeting by the other TV bar patrons and after a half hour, not counting commercials, everyone is happy and the man goes home and doesn’t beat up his wife. TV life is the way to go. I want to be Ward Cleaver and just read the paper in my suit, night after night. June will be in the kitchen wearing a dress and her pearls, making a cake and probably sipping on a pint bottle of Vodka to kill the pain. Wally and Beaver are outside—probably smoking dope with Lumpy but remember, we’re not worried because everything works out in a half hour at the end of the show.

Don’t let it get the best of you. I’m told that after a bad recession, prosperous times are just around the corner. My financial advisor told me so just before he jumped.

Focus on the good stress and not the bad stress. I’m still not sure that I even know what “good” stress is. I’ve never stressed about something and then said “Wow! That was good.” My doctor said that in fact there is good stress. Then he laughed hysterically and jumped.

No really, don’t let it get you down. It sucks for everyone right now. Think about it. You have a loving wife at home right now because she loves you—or you can’t afford the divorce and you’re upside down on the home. I’m sorry. The half-empty glass was talking there. 

Cheer up! Just remember, we’ll get through this crummy economy and when we do we’ll dance in the streets because of our uncontrollable happiness (or perhaps complete insanity) but until then, keep the faith and your common sense. Remember:

It happens to everyone. (Repeat as necessary.)