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Health & Fitness

Cones, Cones, and, Well, So Many Cones!

The world moves on and despite ourselves, we're making progress--except for I-285. When will they say "It's done."

 

The year is 2050. A father, sitting in front of the family virtural fireplace on a simulated winter evening, speaks to his three children:

"We've come a long way since the new millennium. We've cured cancer as well as a list of other diseases that at one time were considered life threatening. We parked all the nukes and the terrorists all finally figured out that there's plenty of room on the planet for all of us. Plastic was replaced by something that actually made the grass greener and the animals healthier. And get this: the Occupy people went to work and found out that's it's actually cool to be employed!  Believe it or not, my house is worth more today than when we bought it! No kidding.

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The Cubs won the World Series and the designated-hitter rule was thrown out! We found life on other planets and they visited earth. They asked if they could take something back with them as a souvenir. We gave them the Real Housewives of Atlanta. They said "No, seriously." We said: "Dudes, we are serious." 

In short, we've done everything we can to make the world a better place now than when we were kids. I hope that you realize that."

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"Any questions?"

"Dad, when will they finish I-285?" 

"Really? Can't you just be happy that the Cubs won the World Series??!!"

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