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Now They Say Grapefruit is Not Good for Us

We now know that everything we love will kill us. First the Russians have nukes and now our grapefruits are conspiring against us. When does it end?

 

And that about does it. According to my calculations, that completes the list of things, that includes everything, that are not good for you. Nothing is good for you. In the year 2012, scientists finally finished examining everything and found them not good for you. Grapefruit, the epitome of healthy consuming, has been ruled to affect certain medicines so that your body fails to absorb fully and therefore there's a risk of toxic levels of certain medicines taken under normal conditions. This of course means that mankind will soon end.

Nothing is good for you. Coffee and wine have been deemed bad and good. Sometimes it's bad and sometimes good. Not sure. Depends on who did the study. Should i have a beer or glass of wine each night to thin the blood or is that too evil? It may be--and maybe not.

I don't smoke. I used to. I quit smoking some 25 years ago. I quit when I used the patch. I found that the 24 mg nicotine patch had a curious side effect which produced some really wild dreams. Those dreams were never bad and I always fought the bad guys and came away with the girl--or girls--or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. It was like going to the movies every night. I quit cigarettes but I have to admit I miss the side effects. I still do enjoy a cigar on occasion. Not consistently but from time to time along with a beer or wine, either of which are rumored to kill you. 

I use to fear being shot. I had dreams of someone running towards me, shooting at me and I couldn't get my gun out of the holster or when I did, the bullet just rolled out of the barrel's end and fell to the ground. My wife would probably laugh at me, suggesting the dream is a metaphor of some other insecurity problem. She doesn't however since she's in the same business as I and has the same nightmares. I wonder in time if those dreams will be replaced with a giant grapefruit chasing me as I run from it in slow motion?     

I've decided that I don't care. You can have my grapefruit when you pry it from my cold dead--wait, I don't eat them often so I'm not entirely devastated. Still, it's disheartening to know that our old healthy friend, the grapefruit has a dark side. I can't help but worry that perhaps our friend the orange will follow the path of the grapefruit. where does it end? Don't know. For now, I'll have a good cigar, a cold beer and try and figure it all out. 

Don't worry. The good news, so far the banana is still cool to hang out with. 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Kathy December 03, 2012 at 11:53 AM
Sorry, it says reject! Not sure WHY!! I love it!!

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